Community

Getting married during school is a multi-generational tradition in my family. Grandpa started it: many aunts, uncles, and siblings on both sides have also made it a habit. So we have heard all the usual objections:

“You’re too young;” “It’s financially unwise;” “You won’t finish your degree;” “Babies will end your career before you can start it;” and so on. Some people have assumed that the weddings must be shotgun weddings — why else would you get married before you have a degree and a job? Others think that parents will indulge and provide financial support until there is enough money for a nice house. A few think that home must have been a horrible place for us to make such a reckless choice.

In America, even Christians assume that finishing school before marriage is a logical and irreversible chronology. Try and change the order, and you will end up poor, uneducated, with marriage problems, and three preschoolers. There is genuine pressure for young Christian couples to wait for marriage until their degrees are done. Most often, the pressure comes from the culture, then the Christian community, and even parents.

This week, we asked half a dozen couples from different countries, married in different decades, to look back on the plus side of being married in school. The variety of answers opens up new ways to think about when to get married, and why.